On June 29th , it was my older sister-in-law, Uma's birthday. She was so happy that we called her up and wished her. We talked for quite a while.Usha's birthday is on July 3rd, that is tomorrow and I know that she always expects our call. She says to me, "Koi kare na kare phone, tum jaroor karthi ho".Yes, most of the times, we speak in Hindi. Prasad and his sisters also most of the times speak in Hindi, though with their parents they speak in Telugu. They were brought up in Rourkela steel plant colony which was a cosmopolition place!!
After this last trip to India, my spending a week with Uma did change a lot of things. We talked about a lot of things which we never did in these 12 years of my married life. Maybe it was because we didn't get to have a heart-to-heart talk with each other, or maybe, we just avoided talking. I don't know, but now I can say that I understand her better and she understands me better too. I realized that though she has a very matured thought process, somewhere she was like an angry child who didn't get the attention she wanted during our marriage. Prasad is more close to Usha and hence maybe she was a little unhappy that she didn't get to meet me till the marriage. Usha had spent two days with me even before marriage, while I was pursuing my PhD, living with two other girls in a house.
Good that I am now in good terms with both my sisters-in-law. It is an achievement for me. If they understand me and know me well, then they will feel comfortable when their parents are with us. So it is very important to have a perfect relationship with sisters-in-law or brothers-in-law. Of course, I don't have brothers-in-law.
As far as I know,I have been a good daughter-in-law and proved it at all times. I have always spoken politely to them and have never ever lost my temper with them or with my sisters-in-law.Even when my MIL says things on my face which hurt my feelings, I have never lost my cool, (which sure must have irritated her all the more). I know it irritates us when we scream or are angry at somebody and they just smile and go away or just remain silent.It works for me though... I don't lose my peace of mind!
I'm not saying that I'm doing something great, maybe every DIL does the same thing,trying to keep the MIL happy, so everyone is happy. Maybe I'm just talking to myself but out aloud!! And of course, it is always at the back of my mind that they are Prasad's parents and Prasad wouldn't like it if his parents hurt.
I think I have always been this way. I've never given much importance to things so much that they upset me. Even in school, my friends used to call me 'happy-go-lucky-don't-care-baby', I do care about people, but I don't care if they say something about me, it doesn't bother me much. Only thing is that "If they are good to me, I am very good to them, but if they are bad to me, I ignore them." In the university hostel, my friends used to forever ask, "Don't you have any troubles or problems? You always look happy" I don't know, maybe staying independently and having a lot of friends makes me happy!!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Sex education Video
This was the real cultural shock for us that they show Sex education Video (SEV) in 5th grade itself. But I liked one thing that first the parents got to see it and only if we give permission are the kids allowed to see. The video was good, right amount of information was given, everything was shown in animation.
We put Soumya in school one year ahead of the scheduled age. And so she is always the youngest in the class. Everybody in her class has completed 11, going on 12, whereas, Soumya is going on 11. So, somehow I felt that she is too young to know about sex.But, she is more mature in her thinking than I had expected.
She came back and told me every day, what they were taught and which video they saw. I was curious to know how she would take the issue of menstutation, but she didn't give much importance to it... she was more excited when she knew the truth about 'making babies'. In a way, it is good that they get to know everything and so are not curious like we used to be at school.
I remember that we were not taught the reproduction chapter till 10th, even though we had it since 8th. In those days, the same text was used for 8th, 9th and 10th, the chapters divided, in ISCE schools.So the day we were taught that chapter, there was only one question in everyone's minds but only some spoke it out... " Did our parents do the same way to bring us into this world?" Since we never had anything taught about puberty, when we girls started our periods, we were scared, and when the boy's voices changed, we made fun of them. Good that now-a-days, the kids know everything before-hand.
We put Soumya in school one year ahead of the scheduled age. And so she is always the youngest in the class. Everybody in her class has completed 11, going on 12, whereas, Soumya is going on 11. So, somehow I felt that she is too young to know about sex.But, she is more mature in her thinking than I had expected.
She came back and told me every day, what they were taught and which video they saw. I was curious to know how she would take the issue of menstutation, but she didn't give much importance to it... she was more excited when she knew the truth about 'making babies'. In a way, it is good that they get to know everything and so are not curious like we used to be at school.
I remember that we were not taught the reproduction chapter till 10th, even though we had it since 8th. In those days, the same text was used for 8th, 9th and 10th, the chapters divided, in ISCE schools.So the day we were taught that chapter, there was only one question in everyone's minds but only some spoke it out... " Did our parents do the same way to bring us into this world?" Since we never had anything taught about puberty, when we girls started our periods, we were scared, and when the boy's voices changed, we made fun of them. Good that now-a-days, the kids know everything before-hand.
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