Childhood pics!!

It was so good to see the childhood photos of myself, my brothers and my cousins. One of my cousins had sent me out of his collection. Thanks to him, my kids and my husband got to see the pics, trying to guess who was who...

It was a pic which we had taken when we were at my grandma's house for one of our summer vacations. I have such good memories of those days. All of us cousins would sleep in the same room, sometimes fighting for places, like who would sleep next to whom. My grandma would make a lot of snacks, a lot of sweets and we would spend a lot of time in the evening sitting at the dinning table and gobbling our snacks. Most of the evenings we would go out with the elders for shopping or for movies.

When there was power cut, we would sit in the candle light around our grandpa in the living room, and he would tell us stories of some of the cases he had passed judgement on.(He was a retired district judge!)

Oh, those were the days!! I loved my grandparents so much, especially my grandma. I was of course their favourite grandchild not only because I was their first grandchild, but also because my mom was their first and favourite child!

My grandma was so modern for her age, I mean she had all modern thoughts. She taught me how to dress , how to wear my hair, what kind of dresses to buy, everything! I learnt a lot from her, her way of pleasing everybody by taking care of their needs, even the servants, made me respct her a lot. She was my inspiration, though she didn't study beyond 3rd grade, she was worldly-wise.She was liked by the shoppkeepers, the rickshaw-walas, my relatives, the neighbours, whereever she went. She was very helpful, especially a big helping hand in all marriages of relatives. I loved her a lot.Thats why I couldn't help crying when she passed away while I was in the US.I never got a last look of her, and I regret that to this day!

Time never comes back, and I'll never get to see them!

A Leo-The king of my Life!

The first time I had known that he is a Leo, I was so thrilled, as I knew that there is no other perfect match than an Aries and a Leo!! And that has been proved so often, again and again...

But the story began even before I knew he was a Leo!! His jovial nature, his smiling eyes, his friendly banter, his quick-wittedness,everything seemed as if it was just for me... as if he was born for me!!

I'm sure everyone reading this would be wondering who is the person I'm talking about. Of course, he is my Husband!! Who else?!!

Whenever I sit and think about days gone by, before marriage and after marriage... only one picture comes in front of my eyes, a caring person but with a tinge of naughtiness in his eyes and an affectionate smile on his lips.... holding my hand and making me cross the road, or holding me close and walking me out of a crowd or the considerate guy asking me 'how are you feeling today?' Believe me, it is the same old man, my 12 yaer old husband that I'm talking about.

Well, this year too the three of us, myself and my kids, surprised him with a cake and gifts and cards. It was a different cake this year, an ice-cream cake. the kids designed a shirt for him, I bought a bouquet and all of us had a card each too. He loved everything and was beaming with happiness.

We have so much in common that friends and relatives are really surprised!! We like the same kind of movies, we have the same favourite actors, we love eating all kinds of food,have the same favourite foods,we watch dance shows, song shows together and above all, we both love travelling and seeing new places. Touchwood!! Maybe it is the love that acts as a sync of our thoughts and interests. The only thing that is different with us is that I read a lot and he rarely does!!Sure if it is just one thing, it can be overlooked, right?

My Mom!

I know it is long since I wrote anything. The summer was so hectic, that I couldn't write anything. I wouldn't say that I didn't have time. Its just that I didn't get the right mood to sit down and write.Anyways, now that I am here, I'm going to start from where I left off.

Let's see, what are the major things I haven't written about?! Hmm!! A lot of them. Let me start with my mom's birthday-July 17th. I send her a bouquet and sweets online and she was so happy to get them.I could hear her smile on the phone though i couldn't see it!Nostalgic, isn't it??
I know that everyone's mom is special to them, especially to the girls. For daughters dads may be heroes, but mom is the personification of Love... cliched though it might sound, but still it is true. My mom is special, not just to me but she is a special person. I haven't come across a more naive and caring mom yet, not even myself! I am not like my mom,never can be...

She is an excellent cook and everybody has always appreciated her cooking. There is love with which she cooks and so any dish, however simple it might me is always tasty.

Wherever she has gone, whoever has met her, has always loved her and has seen a good human being in her. Nobody has ever found fault in her as far as I know!! She takes out a lot of time for everybody, to please them and love them.Sometimes she goes out of the way to please people around her and I know that she is appreciated most often for that. What I have never liked about her is her selflessness, she never thinks about herself, her happiness,no, it is always about others.I always have scolded her for that..... she is too good to everybody, which she doesn't need to be!! But, thats how she is! Too good!!If there is somebody out there who doesn't appreciate her or value her caring and loving self, then they are at a lose.

I think I'm getting too emotional.. and so need to stop this here. Love you mom!

In-Laws

On June 29th , it was my older sister-in-law, Uma's birthday. She was so happy that we called her up and wished her. We talked for quite a while.Usha's birthday is on July 3rd, that is tomorrow and I know that she always expects our call. She says to me, "Koi kare na kare phone, tum jaroor karthi ho".Yes, most of the times, we speak in Hindi. Prasad and his sisters also most of the times speak in Hindi, though with their parents they speak in Telugu. They were brought up in Rourkela steel plant colony which was a cosmopolition place!!


After this last trip to India, my spending a week with Uma did change a lot of things. We talked about a lot of things which we never did in these 12 years of my married life. Maybe it was because we didn't get to have a heart-to-heart talk with each other, or maybe, we just avoided talking. I don't know, but now I can say that I understand her better and she understands me better too. I realized that though she has a very matured thought process, somewhere she was like an angry child who didn't get the attention she wanted during our marriage. Prasad is more close to Usha and hence maybe she was a little unhappy that she didn't get to meet me till the marriage. Usha had spent two days with me even before marriage, while I was pursuing my PhD, living with two other girls in a house.

Good that I am now in good terms with both my sisters-in-law. It is an achievement for me. If they understand me and know me well, then they will feel comfortable when their parents are with us. So it is very important to have a perfect relationship with sisters-in-law or brothers-in-law. Of course, I don't have brothers-in-law.

As far as I know,I have been a good daughter-in-law and proved it at all times. I have always spoken politely to them and have never ever lost my temper with them or with my sisters-in-law.Even when my MIL says things on my face which hurt my feelings, I have never lost my cool, (which sure must have irritated her all the more). I know it irritates us when we scream or are angry at somebody and they just smile and go away or just remain silent.It works for me though... I don't lose my peace of mind!

I'm not saying that I'm doing something great, maybe every DIL does the same thing,trying to keep the MIL happy, so everyone is happy. Maybe I'm just talking to myself but out aloud!! And of course, it is always at the back of my mind that they are Prasad's parents and Prasad wouldn't like it if his parents hurt.

I think I have always been this way. I've never given much importance to things so much that they upset me. Even in school, my friends used to call me 'happy-go-lucky-don't-care-baby', I do care about people, but I don't care if they say something about me, it doesn't bother me much. Only thing is that "If they are good to me, I am very good to them, but if they are bad to me, I ignore them." In the university hostel, my friends used to forever ask, "Don't you have any troubles or problems? You always look happy" I don't know, maybe staying independently and having a lot of friends makes me happy!!

Sex education Video

This was the real cultural shock for us that they show Sex education Video (SEV) in 5th grade itself. But I liked one thing that first the parents got to see it and only if we give permission are the kids allowed to see. The video was good, right amount of information was given, everything was shown in animation.

We put Soumya in school one year ahead of the scheduled age. And so she is always the youngest in the class. Everybody in her class has completed 11, going on 12, whereas, Soumya is going on 11. So, somehow I felt that she is too young to know about sex.But, she is more mature in her thinking than I had expected.

She came back and told me every day, what they were taught and which video they saw. I was curious to know how she would take the issue of menstutation, but she didn't give much importance to it... she was more excited when she knew the truth about 'making babies'. In a way, it is good that they get to know everything and so are not curious like we used to be at school.

I remember that we were not taught the reproduction chapter till 10th, even though we had it since 8th. In those days, the same text was used for 8th, 9th and 10th, the chapters divided, in ISCE schools.So the day we were taught that chapter, there was only one question in everyone's minds but only some spoke it out... " Did our parents do the same way to bring us into this world?" Since we never had anything taught about puberty, when we girls started our periods, we were scared, and when the boy's voices changed, we made fun of them. Good that now-a-days, the kids know everything before-hand.

Sleepover!!???

Soumya went to her proper sleepover last saturday. Earlier she did sleepover at close family friend's place but never like this in her friend's house.

It was a little tough for us to decide to send her as we didn't know the girl nor her parents. But then when I went to the school twice, that girl did come and talk to me and asked me permission. She looked like a decent quite girl, polite and friendly and so I did give her permission.

But when we went to drop her at her friend's birthday party, (followed by sleepover), we were in for a shock. The house was in a shady area, a small old and dirty house, things scattered around. I mean, I would have expected them to at the least clean up the house when you have a birthday party at home. I was a little scared to leave her there, and so was my husband. But we didn't have a choice as we had agreed to it. Commitment ,you see!! Even to kids!!

By night, my husband wanted to go and pick her up. Surprisingly shreya started crying for her 'akka' as she missed her. Both of them were so cute, saying that they would sneak up to the house and bring Soumya back!

Actually Prasad gets very worried about Soumya because she is naive. She has still got that innocence in her which scares me a bit too as she is vulnerable.Or so I feel... But of course, at the back of my mind, I know that she is a lot like me and can take care of herself. She is emotional but I'm sure she can take care of herself.

What I admire about Soumya is the way she makes friends so instantly. And se is not partial or biased about any one friend of hers, she is good to everybody equally which is both good and bad! Sometimes I feel that she believes everybody so much , that some may take advantage of her or play with her emotions.

It is unbelievable that just yesterday she was born in Bhubaneshwar (in 1999) and here she is already taking big steps into the world.

After a long time...

Yes, I never wrote since a long time... almost a month. Have been busy lately.

Well, where do I start now? Valentine's day or Marriage day? Both. That weekend was great. I was so very happy that I still feel that elation after a month. We ate the best food, saw the best movie, went shopping....

My husband surprised me on Valentine's day. As soon as I got up, the first thing that I saw were flowers in his hands. Red roses!! He wished me right on the bed before I could even set my foot down and that too with red roses!! He bought yellow roses for the kids. We had a great day together as a couple, reminisizing the good old days.... Two days before marriage, 12 years back, when all of us were are the marriage mandapam, I sent a valentine's day card for Prasad through my cousin. And look at the autrocity, it fell in my mother-in-law's hands and she read it and then gave it to his sister to give it to him. That was my last valentine's as a maiden and I was obviously excited that I was getting married in two days' time. Thankfully, I didn't know about this mom-in-law incident till I was married....

My flowers for my husband arrived on feb 16th early morning for our anniversary!! He loved them.They were roses of all colours.My husband after 12 years of marriage, for the first time,actually took the day off on our anniversary. Incidently, the kids had holiday on 16th due to President's day.So all the four of us, just freaked out... were on the road the whole day, went to temple, had lunch at Mayuri, went shopping, went to dinner to a Japanese restuarant. That was the first time I have been to a Japanese restuarant. The food was different. The cook cooks in front of you as you sit around the table. That was exciting. The fried rice , he made it in seconds,in front of us. The best part was the wasabi . It is made with horse radish and mustard.. a chutney or spread kind of stuff which we had to eat with sushi. Sushi is rice rolled in sea-weed and steamed.It was an appetizer. And the Wasabi is so very spicy and tangy, it just goes straight from the mouth through the nose. Wow! The best thing I ever ate. Good that all the four of us like to try new stuff and enjoy food like no one else!!

12 years back, I was married to this loving gentleman and I still blush like a new-bride whenever I think of my love which didn't end but grew more after marriage and has been growing more and more ever since....

My Kids' Tests!!

My kids are having Stanford Tests now, even my kindergartener. It is good that they are being tested, but the problem is that we , as parents, never get to know what they are tested in, how they fare, as there is no system of question papers and no answer scripts. All we get to see is the report card. Being from india, and having studied there, I find this very weird. How are we to judge the progress of our kids just by the homeworks they do?!

Atleast for my 5th grader,Soumya, it is good that all her homwwork is marked, and the weekly class tests are sent back home.And till date she has always got staright 'A' s in all subjects every year. Touchwood!But for my Kindergartner,Shreya, I don't get to know what they are teaching(of course they hardly teach much in K). And there is no homework, except the occasional small projects, and there are no weekly tests, no monthly tests either.So how do I know how her progress is, till I see the report card. And then the report card just says the grades they got..... not what is tested.I mean I don't get to know the questions or the method of their testing.

Well, like my husband says, nobody put a gun to our head to come into this country, we came for our career progress. But sometimes, I feel that the kids are missing the strong education that is there in India. Being a teacher myself, I shouldn't be saying this, but it is very true that the standard of education here till the 10th grade is very very low, and then all of a sudden, it is so very tough that , we find a lot of dropoffs after 10th!

Basic thing missing is competitive spirit.As ,though there are report cards coming home after such tests, only the parents know, none of the other kids get to know the grades or marks the other kids got. So where is the question of competition? No comepetitive spirit whatsoever.

It is true that when we were kids we detested the very idea of tests and exams, but then now, looking back I feel that ,that is what it should be. If there are no tests, then there is no competitive spirit. There has to be a fear of detention, only then will the kid study good to go to the next class. Of course, sorry to say that even in India now, they have banned detention and everybody gets to go to the next class till 7th grade and then there is a state exam in 7th, and again in 10th.This is basically because of the illeteracy in India. So now atleast there would be minimum leteracy, they think.

Slumdog Millionaire

'Slumdog'-I hate that word!! Why should anybody living in slums, any poor person be called dogs.Deregatory indeed! Having said this, I should give credit to the writer who wrote this novel and aptly named it Q & A. Vikas Swarup, the indian diplomat, the only Indian who won the Boeke prize ( South african award modelled on UK's Booker prize) for the book, did write the story good.He also won the Paris book fair's Reader's Prize.

His characterisation of the protogonist (the main character),Ram Mohammad Thomas was much better than the 'Jamal Malik' of Slumdog Millionaire.Of course, it is very difficult to picturize the words in a book....

I have been arrested. For winning a quiz show.

They came for me late last night, when even the stray dogs had gone off to sleep. They broke open my door, handcuffed me and marched me off to the waiting jeep with a flashing red light.

There was no hue and cry. Not one resident stirred from his hut. Only the old owl on the tamarind tree hooted at my arrest.

Arrests in Dharavi are as common as pickpockets on the local train. Not a day goes by without some hapless resident being taken away to the police station.


Dev Patel did act good in the lead role, and the main essence of the book was a lot intact in the movie, than the other books made into movies like 'Namesake' which was so badly made into a movie....

Ananya-Unique!

ANANYA! What a sweet name which means so much, for my little niece. She is as unique for all of us as her name. Just like me, she too would have number one as her role number at school.... Her name starts with 'a' and ends with 'a' just like mine.I seem to be more excited than anybody else in the family. I don't know why but I don't remember being so excited even about my two daughters surprisingly!! Maybe, it is because she is another girl after me in my Dad's family having the same maiden name!!

Trip to Vancouver, Canada

It might sound cliched, but getting away for a while regenerates the mind and body alike.Though the trip was short, it was sweet,surprising as it may seem that we went at the wrong time and didn't get to see much.

We took a ferry from Vancouver to Victoria, the vessel carrying us and the car too. With a lot of enthusiasm we went to see the Bucherts garden which is supposed to be filled with different flowers but was all green with no colours at all... all saplings yet to grow and bloom flowers for the spring season. How very misinformed we were from the site which said that it was open throughout the year not mentioning at the slightest that flowering time is not throughout the year.

But I must say that the IMAX experience was fantastic. We watched a documentary movie which was called Extremes and my gosh!! it was mind-blowing. They showed all extreme hobbies that Americans have like water skiing, snow boarding, wind surfing.... It brought goosebumps to my body as we saw the scary things they did. The best was of a couple in Antartica who were 'ice' climbing. Yes, it was a waterfall which was frozen between two mountains and they were climbing the frozen waterfall. Oof!! My heart really missed a beat thinking of them there really doing it.And that too seeing it on a big IMAX screen was like being there seeing it live! Such people lead a life of adventure surely which might seem like eccentricity for others, me being one of them.

I found a picture of a similar one and thought that I must post it to give a clear idea of what really scared me and thrilled me so much.

The rest of the trip, the two nights of stay in the hotel had as usual fabulous nights for me...(wink)... It always helps to be away on a vacation with no thoughts of work to revive romance.The day when my husband had to go for the meetings, me and the kids did some typical girl shopping, in the Claire's. I was more excited than them looking at the different fancy earrings, hair bands, bracelets in the shop and finally spent a $50 in the shop and was still not satisfied.

It brought back a lot of childhood memories when I would go shopping with my mother to a little fancy store in a place called Sunabeda in Orrisa where I grew up and I would atleast get the sanction to buy two earrings, which kept my spirits going till the next time we went to that shop again. Other than artificial jewelry, the only thing that excited me then was Amar chitra katha comics. I would definitely buy two comics per fortnight, one Amar chitra katha and one would either be Chandamama,champak or the indrajal comics which featured either Mandrake or Phantom.My dad encouraged my reading by bringing me back books when he went on a tour, and of course in the summer vacation when we went to my grandparents house, for the train, I always got comics. I still think or rather believe that I was and am my dad's pet!(though I'm very close to my mom now after growing up)

Never a better day!

Looking at the news yesterday, I was with mixed feelings. Seeing the Aircraft accident on Hudson river scared me a little as my husband is forever travelling in flights as he is the Regional Director in his company and he needs to meets his clients. But when I saw the way the people were rescued and the way the flight was brought to shore with the help of two huge ships,I was amazed.Nice work done boys!! The pilot is really a hero for his presence of mind to bring the flight down on the river when the two engines failed. And he was the last one to come out of the water filled sinking aircraft!!It's a miracle that all the 155 passengers came out alive or rather were rescued on time.

My first niece!

It is so good to know that my brother had a baby girl, his first kid on the same day as my first kid though 10 years apart.I was so thrilled when I heard the news. I could hear the happiness in my brother's voice when he called. He wanted a girl first, though the horoscope of my brother predicted boy as his first kid.

It is true that every parent wants a healthy kid and doesn't bother much about the first kid,but it is always nice to have girls as the first kid in the family. I am the first kid, my mom is a first kid too. It does matter!! Girls are more mature than the boys and so understand everything better and have a sense of responsibility towards their younger siblings. Every sister also has a mother's instinct, though to a lesser extent maybe.

My niece is so cute just like how my daughter was and is.

I always had something speacial with this brother. We were in the same school, we were at the same place for college and then when I got married and he got a job,we were in the same city,in Hyderebad, and he came to stay with us .We have a special bonding and our first girls proved us right! We share everything or rather used to share a lot of things, though now after his marriage, he prefers to keep a lot of information from me.

For his marriage, I was the one who took up the responsibility to find a girl for him. All the alliances in the matrimonials were scanned by me and a list of good eligible girls was sent to him after I contacted them and they replied. I don't know how much my sister-in-law knows, but if I didn't like a girl, I didn't send them to him!!! And so she came into the family with my consent first. There was a time when my brother wanted to keep this girl waiting but see more matches to find somebody better still, I said no to him. That was not right. Of course, it goes without saying that she liked him and was just waiting for his 'Yes'.

Oh! why am I always drifting away from the topic. The topic was my niece , not her mom or dad, right? Of course, they are the source; but when I saw her first picture, she sleeping in my mom's arms in a pink sweater, she took my heart away. For a moment, I felt so bad that I was not there to hold her. Being far away in a different country is so bad at times like this. We miss all the good things in life. And seeing my niece, I felt that all good things come in small packages!!!

I am waiting for her to be named. Of course, once again from a list of names that I provided. Didn't I mention that my brother and myself share an unique bonding. I'm sure my younger brother might not like my saying this... hey, I love him too. And that too equally!! But he is 12 years younger than me and he is always a kid to me!Still my little kid brother.

A New Year!

I wanted to start this blog at the beginning of the year, maybe exactly on Jan 1st. But then the New year parties, the planning of my daughter's birthday party, preparation for it, and the party itself, and then the birth of my first niece... one followed another and here I'm late by 15 days. Well better late than never!!

I have never blogged before , no seriously, I've not blogged in the real sense of the word. I have a blog which has my stories, my poems, my recipes(wholly invented and created by me). But this is different. It is like a diary. Should I say, a diary which is for public viewing. The concept is pretty new to me as I always believed that diary is very private.

I used to write a diary each year from , let's see, was it in the 8th or 9th grade?!! It was the 8th grade! I started writing because I had a secret that I had to guard and I couldn't keep it to myself. It so happened that my close friend was kissed by one of the boys in the 11th.she told me and asked for help. Looking back, I think I was very dumb then, as I don't think it is naivity. Both of us were scared that she would get pregnant!!!!! I wrote that in a small pocket diary and hid it under my books in the house. As it always happens, one day my mom while cleaning up the room for me came across this diary.....

Well, well, adults in all ages are the same I believe. She mistook what she read in the book or rather thought that I was lying to myself or rather to the diary and it was not my friend but myself that was kissed. I tried to convince her,I don't know if she was convinced or not, but I was left alone, with a warning to not do what I never did in the first place.

My diary writing started not to end for a long time. From my favourite teacher to my favourite story or poem, everything I liked went into the diary. All adventures I did, all the fun I had, all the mischief I did in class with the students and the teachers, everything was carved into words in it.Nothing was personal though every feeling, every emotional was genuine. I never hid my diay, it was always there with my text books. That way, I knew that nobody would read it as it is human mentality to always want to know what is hidden but never bother to know what is clearly written on the walls for everyone to see. Hey, am I side tracking?

Where were we? With the diary of course. I started to hide the diary again when I fell in love,even though I was not at home but out of the house. I didn't want my friends to know that I was in love. I never believed in making personal things public. But still you see that I am here now writing this blog. I was inspired by some blogs of some friends and so thought of writing one too.I think it is a good exercise for improving writing skills too.

Whatever be the reason, I hope I can continue to write what I started.